elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

darrynek:

hello 911 yes i’d like to report a murder

this bitch killed my vibe

tbhwut:

lameborghini:

will commit illegal crimes in exchange for mozzarella sticks

i wasnt aware that there were legal crimes but you learn something new everyday huh

highsch00ls:

5evamore:

when i see really attractive people i just laugh because i know if we lived in the aztec culture they’d be sacrificed to the gods for their beauty 

That’s a very strange way of coping with not being really attractive.

My hobbies include laying in bed in my underwear while I listen to music and hate myself

aftershe:

egberts:

lets have a sleepover and ignore each other while we blog

and occasionally show eachother funny text posts

megvsshark:

trishhyy:

when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned

Or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet.